Fake it 'til you make it

Fake it ‘til you make it. This phrase was one that I struggled with when I was younger. I never really liked the idea of being fake. That was until I looked at the concept of this phrase from a different perspective. What if this phrase wasn’t about BEING fake, but rather emulating a behavior until that behavior became part of who you are?

One thing that I have regularly struggled with is with confidence. I have always sought praise from external sources and counted on that to define my worth. In this day and age, that is a dangerous proposition. Anyone can hide behind email or social media to criticize; individuals spout negativity; we react rather than respond. As each of these situations crops up, I take each one of them to heart and- good or bad- I let them define how I feel about myself.

Dictionary.com defines confidence as “belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities.” I can candidly say that I am there about half of the time. The other half of my life is spent focusing on my fears and inadequacies. Comments that other people have said to or about me during my life are on repeat in my mind.

Hear me out- I’m not blaming other people. Our head gets clogged up with the stories that we tell ourselves based on other people’s perception of us. What can we do about this? In my case, I choose to fake it.

I don’t believe I can accomplish something… I fake confidence.
I don’t believe I am good enough… I fake self-worth.
I don’t believe I ________… I fake _____.

You get the pattern. And sometimes, SOMETIMES, I start to feel this way about myself.

One of the most obvious ways I do this is through “costuming.” I am OBSESSED with Wonder Woman. On days when I have a big presentation or something that I am nervous about, I “dress up” as Wonder Woman. No, not literally but figuratively. I wear red or blue, I strike a power pose, I wear red lipstick- I put on the Wonder Woman persona. And when I own it, it works for me.

So what is your thing? What is the thing that if you faked it, you could make it? What superpower can you tap into, what costume could you put on, what emotion could you exude, that would make you be the person you want to become?

Then get out there and Do The Thing.

Photo credit: Zhen Hu

Photo credit: Zhen Hu