Attitude

When I was in high school, my mom was a nurse at an oncologist's office. Every once in a while, I filled in for the receptionist- making appointments, answering calls, greeting patients. All the while my mom met with patients, administered chemotherapy, held hands, dried tears, and supported people through what was likely the most difficult time in their life.

One day a young man came in with his wife and a very young child. His cancer was terminal. It took all my effort to hold myself together. I was pretty silent the rest of the day- a rare feat for me. On the car ride home, I asked my mom how. How could she do this every day? Seeing the suffering, loss, and death?

“Attitude.”

She explained that first, she took the attitude that she was going to help people get better and feel better. And if the cancer was terminal, that she was going to get them to that vacation they had dreamed of, their child’s graduation or wedding, to help them create one more memory.

Then she explained that the patient’s attitude mattered too. While she treated all of her patients with the same level of compassionate care, she was drawn to those who had decided that they were going to beat cancer, those who chose to live life despite the hand they were dealt.

“It’s all about their attitude.”

While a passing conversation at the time, this has stuck with me and shaped much of my perspective on how I choose to live my life. Sometimes… okay a lot of the time, life is hard, messy, and complicated. I get to choose how I relate to that experience. I can choose to let life beat me down, or choose to be hopeful and lift my head up.

As you go through the ups and downs of this week, which attitude are you going to choose. Are you going to choose to rise up or be downtrodden? As the Dalai Lama reminds us “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

Side note: Talk to your kids. Talk to youth around you. Let them ask questions about the hard things. And be honest with them. You wouldn’t be reading this blog if my mom hadn’t….